Dear Friends and Collaborators,
This morning, I saw a text from the father (Mein Freund) of one of my students (born in March). Mein Freund wanted to know if today was a leisure day at the public school that March attends and where I teach part time. At first I was confused as I didn't know what this term "leisure day" meant. Is he asking me if there is no school today? I wondered. In the following texts I learned that the concern was actually about what dear young March should wear to school today. Previously, a few Fridays past, the children had gone on a hike together without uniforms. Understanding this, I briskly walked right around the block, peered through the cracks in the school teacher's gate, and asked her as she loaded up the car, what the story was about uniforms. When must the children wear only blue and white to school and when do they wear whatever they want? The story was simple. The children always wear uniforms unless they are leaving the school on a hike. With joy, I promptly reported this news to Mein Freund. His enthusiastic gratitude in response was palpable, even through text. And it surprised me a little bit. I wasn't thinking of or waiting for thanks.
And that lead me to reflecting. What was the anatomy of this experience? Why was I so happy running over to the public school teacher's house to ask about uniforms? Looking into myself I even found my own feelings of being privileged to have had this opportunity and of giving back my own feelings of gratitude. Once I understood dear March's dilemma this morning, her feelings and her concerns were alive and real to me. Poor dear! She wants to feel belonging in school with the other students. She wants to fit in. Mein Freund is deeply mindful of dear March's feelings, and I empathically feel them both. In neural science language my mirror neurons wrap around their experience like a glove wrapping around a hand. I feel what they feel with blurred lines between me and them. Once I quickly found the solution to the question, their relief and happy contentment washed through me as my own relief and happy contentment. I could feel their ease of mind, and that released a flood of meaningful dopamine driven euphoria in me. Mein Freund and dear March gave me a little trip to nirvana this morning. Thank me? What? No. Thank you for involving me in such a meaningful and satisfying experience!
It was right and good that they asked me to connect them to this information. It was easily within my reach and not easily within their own reach. Everything in this connection was pure and simple and human and healthy. It was like fresh clean water from a high mountain stream. There is a metaphor for this kind of relationship and joy in scripture. I evoke this metaphor as a lens, not as a creed. Jesus is the most important archetypal model to me: it matters not to me whether or not, nor when or how exactly he was a literal man either in Israel two thousand years ago or as Horus in Egypt many thousands of years earlier. I will skip parts of this passage in scripture that I am referring to and I will redefine others in brackets to illuminate my point more clearly, side stepping some of the other needless points of theistic creed:
John 15:
15 "I am the true vine... 2 Every branch in [relationship with] me that does not bear fruit [Providence and the Synchronicity of Life] takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit [Providence] prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word [of virtuous relationship] that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me [and in others with whom you are connected in right and virtuous relationship]. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me [and your fellow human beings with whom you are interdependent] you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me [in healthy relationship with others] he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned [or simply decay on the ground where they fall into separation]. 7 If you abide in me, and my words [of how to live according to the nature and meaning of life] abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you [because you will wish for and ask for things in a manner true to the life within you which you abide in through wholeness]. 8 By this [Providence, the Great Mysterious Original Source of Life] is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As [Providence] has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep [virtuous patterns of right relationship], you will abide in my love, just as I have kept [the true pattens of life] and abide in [the] love [originating in the Great Mysterious Binding Force that First Attracted us all Together in the Beginning, Thereby Creating Life].
11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
12 "This is my [pattern and model for you], that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends [that a person no longer distinguishes rigidly between personal good and the good one can experience vicariously through the good achieved for friends]. 14 You are my friends if you [follow this pattern and model]. 15 No longer do I call you [students], for the [student] does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends [and fellow collaborators], for all that I have heard from [the patterns of the deep source of Life] I have made known to you.
When I remembered this passage in John 15 this morning in my reflections on my experience with Mein Freund and dear March, the phrase that leap into my consciousness like water coming up from a fountain was "that my joy may be in you." When I work with young students as a teacher, the power that attracts them to me is the positive feedback loop created between my emotional experience and their emotional experience. Dear March was talking about her joy in watching videos of herself when she was a baby yesterday. She said that she liked to watch movies that she found herself in but that she didn't like to watch movies that she didn't find herself in. The way she described this was innocent and literal as a 7 year old, but in a way what she said was true of all of us. We learn to see ourselves in the characters we watch or read about in works of art. I learn to see myself in the words of Christ in John 15 making the scripture come alive to me. But this is all the more powerful when the phenomena becomes a loop rather than a line. If I am watching a movie and identify with a character in that movie, that character does not suddenly become conscious of me. However, when I hone in on the emotional lives of children in my classes and turn all of my mirror neurons on them taking all of their feelings into myself and experiencing their joy as my joy, they see me watching them and dive directly back into me to find a deeper fuller experience of their own lives. Their joy is amplified in me and then mine in them. I break down the barriers between us, and we become a greater collective life form as one. For truly life is nothing more than every greater collections of parts that have found their way back to harmony and wholeness together.
The story goes on a little further though in John 15 in a very important way. A sincere man asked me last month why I don't merge with and influence adults like I merge with and influence children. The truth of the matter is that my life is for my friends and for children, but my life is most certainly NOT a gift for anyone out in the world who simply wants something from me. As absolutely as I give to some, I can and do scorn and say absolutely NO to others when the time and conditions are not right. And so turn back to John 15, and this model that resonates with me:
John 15:
16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and [strengthened you with everything me] that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide [because of the goodness and innocence of your spirit that I recognized in you], so that whatever you ask [or desire of Providence] in [the spirit of right relationship with others], [Providence, the Great Source of Life] may give it to you.
People some times see my overwhelming generosity and capacity to love on the one hand, and then they see my stark refusal to give to or to surrender or to appease or to accommodate other people on the other hand. Why are you so harsh, they ask? Why are you so hard, Sky? Why don't you just be patient with these people? Why don't you calm your masculine, hard driving, penetrating energy and woo these people gently like a loving suitor woos a woman. If you force an issue it might seem to them like a violation. This is the perspective sometimes given back to me. But this is not an accurate picture, my friends. There are not only two choices in relationship. This is not a binary situation, to be or not to be, to woo or to violate. One can woo, one can violate, or one can scorn and reject. When I get very forceful, it is a sign that I am demonstrating my willingness and readiness to scorn and reject and abandon someone. When I put my food down, I am beginning to close a door to people, not forcing their doors open. I give deeply, but I do not lay down my life or resources willing for the scavengers to feast upon. I lay my life down for my friends and for children, not for the ravenous full of personal desires and self separation.
My path is not a new path. My path is not a new pattern. I am very deeply imbedded in the pattern of the old gospel pattern, and it is almost impossible for anyone or anything to deter me from this pattern for long. It may manifest in different ways at different times in the concrete and material world, but the abstract rhythms remain the same for me. Again, I repeat, it doesn't matter to me where this pattern came from or where it is going. I don't need to understand God's job. As the centurion said to Jesus in Matthew 8, my master only needs to say the word to me, and I trust His power and authority without needing to understand it all or prove it. I simply know this pattern as what I AM in my truest, most integrated core, and I simply know also that this pattern is what LIFE IS when it thrives most abundantly, not in the individual, but rather in the collective, for again, LIFE is the ever greater harmonization of parts, not of separateness. Therefore, with massive depth to my roots sinking deeply into thousands of years of mythological understanding, when I say NO, it really means NO. And so, like Jesus, these are my statements also:
Matthew 5:37
"Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.'"
Mark 7:27
And he said to her, "Let the children be fed first, for it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs."
And again, back to the children:
Luke 18:16
Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God [the kingdom of abundant life in wholeness with others].
(Note to self: Jeffery, age 3 in Guatuzo, I will not forget you and your hug that last day I was with you though I do not regret leaving the leaders of the institution where you had to remain.)
There is a time to every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3). There is a time to give, and there is a time to refrain from giving. I once gave away all of my wealth to the poor. With this act, I bought myself a very deep and powerful esoteric education that has never failed me (like in the story of the pearl of great price). However, I do not recommend this path to anyone. My path is a path of great faith in Providence. I can appear poor and be rich. Everything I need always appears for me when I am in the center of my path exactly when I need it. I lack nothing that I need (Psalms 23). "As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions." (Romans 14:1) Furthermore, generosity is not just a matter of faith. When I inherit or earn wealth again, I do not intend to give it away. It is not right to give everything to everyone all the time. When our children demand candy at the check out counter in the supermarket, we don't always give it to them. That would not be helpful or right.
Now as a digression, situations bordering on physical violence are different. I was mugged once by two men in New York City. I did not feel fear. Instead I felt anger and a desire to fight and a belief that I could win. However, I calmly gave them what they demanded on Gospel principles. This in no way however means that I am an easy person or that I will never fight. This pattern has many different aspects that play out together beautifully like different keys and musical notes on a piano. For example:
John 2:14-16
14 And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. 15 When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers' money and overturned the tables. 16 And He said to those who sold doves, "Take these things away! Do not make My Father's house a house of merchandise!"
Luke 22:35-36
35 And He said to them, "When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, did you lack anything?" So they said, "Nothing." 36 Then He said to them, "But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.
People naturally feel empathy for other human beings. People often want to help other people. However, there is clearly disease in the social world that does not allow life to flow and grow properly. When we desire to help others in order to reduce the suffering in the world, we don't desire to feed the disease that causes the suffering in the first place. If I am a rich man, and if I give all my wealth to poor people who cannot manage that wealth, then they will destroy that wealth, and I will simply join them in their poverty creating more misery by adding my own suffering to the suffering that was already there. For this reason, it is also written:
Matthew 7:6
6 "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.
In the goodness of her heart, one of my dear friends tried to help a poor woman while she was living in Africa. She gave her some things listening to and empathizing with all of her woes and suffering, and then she actually found this woman a dignified and appropriate job. The woman agreed to go, and my friend arranged everything for her and even got her bus ticket for her to go to work. But this woman never went to the job. She did not even try it out. She later complained that it was too much of a tiring trip for her on the bus. My friend was utterly disgusted. I have also know similar disgust. But we have both learned this valuable lesson. We are here on this earth full of life to thrive with people. We are not here to give our strength to feed slothfulness, lust, greed, gluttony, envy, manipulation, or any other social diseases that people might have and refuse to let go of.
In response to this reality, some branches of metaphysical, spiritual, and religious ideology have developed rigid walls of defense to separate the rich from the poor. In protestant Christianity, there is the doctrine of Calvinism. This doctrine is part of the historical context for right wing laissez-faire economic theory and social Darwinism that essentially declares it is vice to give "the least of these our brethren" (Matthew 25) a helping hand to improve their situations in life. Struggle and suffering (through these lenses) are essentially seen as necessary evils to kill off the disease that creates poverty and suffering in the first place. To create a welfare state to support the wellbeing of people with social safety nets is seen (from these points of view) as a path to feeding and spreading social disease. In the East, harsh and fragmented views of karma have come to the same conclusion. If someone is suffering in this life, some think that they need that suffering to purify their souls from past sins in past lives. To attempt to remove the suffering of another person can be seen as an interruption of their life lesson, like opening the cocoon of a butterfly before it struggles to break free by itself. This dooms the butterfly to weakness and a lack of strength which is needed in order to fly. The butterfly then dies instead of fulfilling its destiny. Do we do the same to fellow humans by helping each other in generosity? This is a legitimate question.
However, this question can never be answered meaningful outside of the view of oneness. As long as we maintain the view that we are separate, we will never achieve true abundant life. The bodhisattva (in buddhist mythological language) returns from the nirvana of enlightenment and bliss to share in the suffering of others because the bodhisattva has transcended the illusion that there is such a thing as self and others (my interpretation). Imagine it is very cold and icy outside. The body is very cold, and will maybe even die outside. Now, imagine walking up to a door that is locked at the entrance to a warm, fire-heated house. The window however, is unlocked. The hand opens the window a crack and reaches in to the other side where there door can be unlocked. The hand is now warm. What should the hand care about the body? It is inside? But the hand has no illusion of separate self. The hand is one with the body. The hand fulfills its duty given to it by the unified mind to open the door, come back out into the cold and then help the whole body to enter the house.
Why do I wish to change the world, and how do I wish to change the world? Some ask me. Well, first, there really is no "I" who can actually do any such thing (I am not the god Atlas), and it is not really a change that I am part of but rather a fulfillment. Life is an institution of harmonious mutual support and cooperation. The fulfillment of the nature of the life of human beings is to establish all the cultural, spiritual, and institutional means of creating a structure for human beings to live in mutually supportive and harmonious cooperation. Socrates, Plato, Confucius and all great traditional thinkers have know that this all beings with education. This is why the model of Jesus is the model of an educator, and this is why I have chosen the path of a teacher.
There is a simple feedback loop that is essentially the key to everything. A healthy society will create healthy children and healthy children will create a healthy society. This is my struggle, and this is my mission in life. I will give my all to doing everything within my power to strengthen the life force of as many children as I can to be the strongest, noblest, healthiest people they can be, and then I trust that they, not I, will save the world, not individually, but together. That is my faith, and that is the mission that I have chosen to except. People who get in the way of that mission... well, unfortunately they get angry at how decisively I scorn and leave them, but what can I say? Maybe I will learn to be more gentle like Joseph over time in this verse, but it still won't completely satisfy these people:
Matthew 1:19
19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
Nevertheless, people who are scorned and abandoned always tend to have hard feelings. I accept those feelings as part of reality, but I do not take responsibility for those feelings. Those people will have to deal with their feelings themselves. I have my work to do, and I will not linger to console or give more to people who are not on the right path to be part of my mission. The call within me to do what I must do is too deep and ancient. I will not close my heart to this deep voice and call for anyone.
Hebrew 3:7-8
7 Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you will hear His voice, 8 Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, In the day of trial in the wilderness.
This call is my strength and my living water. The power of this voice, this vision in me, is a living water. It gives me access to the joy of every little child in the world. It gives me deep satisfaction in dear March in her feelings of belonging this morning in simply wearing the right clothes make her feel connected to the other students in her school. That kind of oneness is what the story of living water means:
John 14:14
But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
Isaiah 40:31
They who [depend on] the [true source and pattern of Life] shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
I am not going to wait, and I am not going to wander. I march forwards, always, whether through hell or high water. I conclude these reflections with a song from Nickelback. The words on the screen of the video are just as important as the lyrics. More than anything else that I have said here my dear friends, know and understand that I love you and am committed to your wellbeing. You are the meaning of my life.
"If Everyone Cared," Nickelback
- http://youtu.be/-IUSZyjiYuY
Love and light,
Sky
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